Friday, May 6, 2016

Urban Temples of Cthulhu - Modern Mythos Anthology






URBAN TEMPLES OF CTHULHU – MODERN MYTHOS ANTHOLOGY
 published by the
First United Church of Cthulhu
Lovecraft for the 21st century.  We are the future of the Mythos.

 In the dark recesses of the world's cities lie the hidden altars and secret cathedrals dedicated to the blasphemous beings from out of space and time. And they want in!

Features the work of prominent horror authors,
many already with published Cthulhu Mythos material.


“Little Gods” by James Pratt
“Sects and the Single Girl” by Steven A. Roman
“The Kings in Rebel Yellow” by Khurt Khave
“The Face of God Within” by Brian H. Seitzman
“The Black Metal of Derek Zann” by Aaron Besson
“Cosmic Cavity; or, the Mouth of Man” by Carl R. Jennings
“Along the Shore of Old Ridge” by Stuart Conover
“Sleep Talking” by Jeff C. Stevenson
“Matriarch of Skid Row” by M. C. Bluhm
“Uncle Lovecraft: The Complete Oral History” by David Acord
“Strange Communion” by Allen Griffin
“Death in the Sunset” by Guy Riessen
“The Abomination of St. Jude” by David F. Gray
“Flesh-Bound Shadow Sun” by M. S. Swift
“Doorstepping” by Kelda Crich
“Saturday Night at the Esoteric Order of Dagon” by Jill Hand
“City of our Lady, Queen of the Angels,
Virgin Mother of a Thousand Young” by Kevin Wetmore
“Warm Red Sea” by Jaap Boekestein


I also edited the anthology.  The Kings in Rebel Yellow is one of my favorite stories that I have written.  I will definitely be continuing on with those characters.  I can't wait to find out what kind of chaos and madness they get involved in.


 You can find the First United Church of Cthulhu at FUCC.IT




Available in paperback or eBook:
URBAN TEMPLES OF CTHULHU



Thursday, March 10, 2016

The Book of Shub-Niggurath - Owner's Manual


The Book of Shub-Niggurath - Owner's Manual


Shub-Niggurath - The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young: Lovecraft Call of Cthulhu LARP RPG roleplaying game accessory is meant be utilized as a roleplaying prop for the Call of Cthulhu RPG or any other horror or fantasy game that needs a Lovecraftian twist. With 566 pages in the book, that's plenty for you to tear out or write on, using them for props or clues.

I received the question of exactly how one would incorporate the Book of Shub-Niggurath in their game.  This is the result of that question and its subsequent answers.

I’ll cover the gaming aspects first, then the real world magickal theories second.

I started gaming in the 80’s.  We loved handouts, props, any extras that enhanced the playing and storytelling experience.  Unfortunately, back then most of the extras included were tiny black and white maps or “found pages from an ancient tome” which were sometimes only a quarter page size cutout.  So we would use old encyclopedias or even phone books (to invoke the Plumber of Doom dial 555-FLUSHIT) in the stead of sizeable spell books.

This is a physical prop intended to be used and abused.

Especially if you’re a Keeper who likes to use atmospheric extras, turn down the lights, flicker bulbs, sound fx tracks, eerie music, etcetera; this book is for you.  Your players will remember the first time you announce that they have discovered the Book of Shub-Niggurath and hold it a few feet above the table, then let it drop with a heavy thud that shakes the table and sends papers, pencils, and dice flying.  “Hold your drinks.”  This thing weighs three and a half pounds.  Be careful where you toss it.  Unless you’re like my old gaming crew was, then you’ll probably forcibly throw it at one or all of them during the course of the campaign.  I guess from a legal standpoint, yes, those multiple incidents would technically constitute assault.

Got a designated spellcaster?  Make them get up and walk around the table while reciting the appropriate passages.  “In proper Sumerian, please.”  We used to have to write out and recite every fhtagn word.  “Oh, no.  I’m not casting nothing this game.  You’re the mage now.” *proceeds to throw book at the new acolyte*  If you’re LARPing, your mage will simply love lugging this heavy thing around for hours on end!

Use passages from the Lovecraft stories as clues for the investigators.  Some sending them in the right direction, some sending them the other way.  But all paths are fraught with danger.

Make the investigators find the clues in the book’s passages themselves from other external cues.  They might hate you for making them work so hard, but there will also be a solid feeling of satisfaction of unraveling a mystery using physical props as opposed to just making an occult skill roll.  I left the pages unnumbered for this reason, but how many authentic spellbooks are numbered anyway?  Especially if pages are always being added or removed.

The different ancient languages in the book can be used to send investigators on themed adventures (gods, cults, beings, and folk heroes from those mythologies) or even to their originating locations around the world.  The Akkadian underworld can become a real subterranean location or reachable other-dimensional plane.

There are multiple gods from the Cthulhu Mythos pantheon listed in the book besides Shub-Niggurath.  So these are easy lead-ins to include all those various other factions in your adventures.

Get a red marker and start writing clues across the pages with the ancient languages.  Questions, translations (and inaccurate translations – Klaatu.  Barada.  Necktie!), non-euclidean equations, occult symbols, cryptic messages, locations, etc.

Or perhaps that one crucial page with all the clues is missing!  Or partially torn with the other half of the banishing spell on it.  An infuriating cliché of fiction from the era was that the location of the villain’s hideout, or the dead recluse millionaire’s will, or the combination to the safe containing the needed special item were written on that missing page.

Make it the Book of dread.  Use it sparingly, then when the book comes out your investigators know there is trouble ahead.

Are some of those pages cursed?  Side quest interrupting gameplay to find a cure for the increasingly fishy skin condition of Professor Smart Guy who botched the spell reading.  Yeah, they’re gonna really hate you after this one.

Who else wants this book?  Any of the Thousand Young will obviously want to get Mom’s book back.  There could be multiple, competing factions of Shub cults fighting each other and your team to gain possession of the book.  Other cults will have a vested interest in getting their slimy tentacles on the magic contained within those pages.  Agents of other groups or persons of interest who think that much power must be destroyed; or at least taken out of your group’s incompetent hands.

Did you steal this book from the Miskatonic library?  You will have to contend with some very angry faculty as well as overzealous students and wannabe campus cultists.

Actual otherplanar beings will probably want to get hold of the Book of Shub-Niggurath.  Can they sense the magic in the book and track the party?  Always one step behind?  Will they use it for their own nefarious schemes or just devour its power as a light snack then go back to sleep for 1000 years?

Shub might have to take matters into her own hands (alien grabby parts?) and get the book back herself.

Learn a new dead language.  I could fluently read and write Runic Norse by the time I was done studying it for gaming purposes.


As for as real world magic use, all of the ancient languages are considered to contain actual power that is unlockable and usable to the reader.  Many cultures held the belief that words themselves are a type of energy and that put together in the proper order constitute a functioning spell.  That’s what curse words originally were!

Then there is also the aspect of equidistant letter sequencing, hidden words and meanings, and subliminal magicks of mental control or spiritual domination.  Catcher in the Rye anyone?  What works for one won’t necessarily work for another.  That does not disempower the original seeker of knowledge.  Books can transport you to another world, create new reality paradigms, breathe life into those eldritch landscapes.  But this book is just a focus.  The real power lies within you. 


 


Thursday, February 4, 2016

Chainsaw Alice in Wonderland - audiobook


Chainsaw Alice in Wonderland is now available as an audiobook!


Available through:  Amazon  Audible  iTunes
Audio sample available in link.


Alice the chrononaut falls down an unmarked dimensional rift, or rabbit hole, which transports her to the wondrous lands as imagined by author Lewis Carroll.


But this is a very real place, as any parallel reality that can be thought of can be created. Wonderland is being torn apart by warring kingdoms, cruel monarchs, cosmic corporations, odd gods, and the forces of Cthulhu!


Characters from both Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There are joined by a cast of Disney-like talking animals as well as fantastical creatures such as mermaids, faeries, trolls, and minotaurs. And then the fighting and fornicating ensues!


The SICKEST steampunk horror book ever written! It's like Lewis Carroll, H. P. Lovecraft, Jules Verne, Walt Disney and the Marquis de Sade threw an orgy/murder party; and you're invited!


The best written trash you will ever hear. Exactly what it sounds like and much worse than you think! All the sex and violence that was missing from the original Alice in Wonderland is now here! You will be ashamed for loving it! It's tentacular!


Try the insanity, it's delicious!


Out of space.
Out of time.
Out of control.






Monday, February 1, 2016

Googly Eyes Cover Woman's Face - Spider Queen Halloween Costume Source Video

Googly Eyes Cover Woman's Face - Spider Queen Halloween Costume Source Video

Because there are billions of people on the internet and apparently none of you know how to do a Google search.  Here is the source video of the googly eyes Halloween costume.

The woman who came up with the idea for the Spider Queen and brought it to life is Lana Winnichyn (graphic designer: Lana's site). 

The professional photographer who took the video is Keri Coles.  The video is on her Youtube page with a link to her photography page.





 






Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Mall of Cthulhu - Tentacles Everywhere!


I apparently visited the Mall of Cthulhu today.

So I'm out shopping for Cthmas presents.  I should be at work but I had to take the day off to get my hot water heater replaced.  There are 5 million people in this city.  What are the odds that I, Head Priest of the First United Church of Cthulhu of all people, should be the one to run across a random tentacle, dirty and discarded, lying in the middle of the parking lot of the movie theater?




Then after getting a fractally spirally Cinnabon, I noticed the green tentacles above me, strung everywhere for the festive Cthmas holiday season!  The beads and mirrored discs descending from the tentacles like dripping ocean water or seaweed as they reach and pull you down to Davy Jones' Foot Locker.




And did you know that Hot Topic is not just shitty screamo band t-shirts and studded belts?!?!  They have some pretty cool stuff from time to time.  They actually had a Cthulhu shirt!  I couldn't believe it.  Couldn't get a good pic of it, so here is the official one.  Okay, it's a lame ass cutesy Cthulhu shirt, but it's a step towards cosmic madness.




Synchronous tentacle action all day long!  Don't forget to check out the First United Church of Cthulhu and have yourself a merry little Cthmas now!













The Astronomicon minorem - DMT, Cthulhu and You is the unholy book of the First United Church of Cthulhu.  The Book of Devouring Stars was written by Khurt Khave, the FUCC's head priest and founding member.

Discover the chaos and madness of the order from the deranged leader who claims to have garnered his knowledge from Yog-Sothoth himself!  Also includes the artists, prophets, and psychonauts who make up the history of the actual religion of Cthulhu which dates as far back as 700 BC.  Lovecraft was only one mad prophet in our great lineage.

Learn how you can directly contact Cthulhu and the Great Old Ones. 


a physical copy



Nyarlathotep is waiting.








 

Friday, December 11, 2015

Know Your Tentacles!






I love tentacles! I love art! I love information! That's why it sucks when so many cool pictures, memes, and video clips get passed around with no tags at all as to their source. I kept seeing this picture or an animated gif of it reposted time and again but I kept forgetting the name of the film it was from. For some reason the animated gif is in black and white, and it is a period piece with era specific clothing and sets, so a lot of people think it is a much older film.

It is actually from 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy, a 2011 Hong Kong 3D erotic costume drama. It is a new installment of the Sex and Zen series which is loosely based on The Carnal Prayer Mat, a Chinese erotic novel by 17th century author and playwright Li Yu.

It has been called “Crouching Tiger meets The Joy of Sex.”



Here is the trailer:




Here is the full film:




Cthulhu be praised!