Friday, December 30, 2016

NOT Virgin Mary, Holy Octomother of Cthulhu

She is known by many names around the internet - Virgin Mary Holy Octomother of Cthulhu, Octo-Mary full of grace, Tentacle Mary - patron saint of the Detroit Red Wings, Octopussy, Hail [Mother] Hydra, as well as numerous iterations.  But they are all WRONG!  It is the sad state of the internet generation that they would rather retweet than research.  Some idiot on tumblr posted it with a made up name and no link or mention of the artist, then it got reposted, then the same happened on 9gag, reddit, and twitter.

Know your tentacles!

She is Notre Dame du Poulpe - Our Lady of the Octopus.
Created by French artist Soasig Chamaillard

Here is a direct link to her page on the artist's website:  Our Lady of the Octopus

She has done a ton of variations with the Mary icon,
"I grew up in a Western Christian society.  My perspective on life has been a result of my environment and background.
The playful interaction of society's many icons, physical transformations, and the resulting improbably combinations, have culminated in my vision of a woman's role and place in our society.
This inner questioning of a woman's role has led me to use one of the most sacred icons in my work, namely, the Virgin Mary.
Initially, I began with damaged statues, either donated or discovered in garage sales, which I then restore and transform.
I surely do not mean to shock those who believe but rather to move those who see."

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

10/6 is Mad Hatter Day!

10/6 is Mad Hatter Day!

October 6th marks the holiday of Mad Hatter Day.  The Mad Hatter is from Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (though commonly shortened to Alice in Wonderland).  He wears a top hat with a card in the headband labeled 10/6.  In the original illustrations from the book, the card reads "In this style 10/6" and is actually a price tag that means "10 shillings and a sixpence."  This is explained in The Nursery Alice by Lewis Carroll, "The Hatter used to carry about hats to sell: and even the one that he's got on his head is meant to be sold.  You see it's got its price marked on it-a "10" and a "6"-that means "ten shillings and sixpence."  Wasn't that a funny way of selling hats?"

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Jack and Sally - Nightmare Before Christmas

Jack and Sally - Nightmare Before Christmas

Jack and Sally - Nightmare Before Christmas

Possibly the most shared meme of Jack and Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas, and definitely one of the best pieces of fan art of those two fateful characters. It took me years of hunting through uncredited blog listings, degraded copy-and-reposts, and reversed image searches, to finally find the artist and the source image.

Artist Name: Lulu Inthesky
Real Name: Laetitia Lamblin
Main Site:

This is the original, unedited version

This is the meme version that went viral.  Obviously, the motivational succor of "Your soulmate is the person who mends your Broken Heart, by simply giving you, Theirs," complete with the internet generation's poor grammar, was added.  Though it is a great sentiment and I'm sure helped with its viral nature, I somehow doubt the editor of the image also wrote the verse.

Here are some of her early pencil/shading works whose style I prefer. Her work has evolved towards a cleaner/pen-and-ink style which I think becomes more common, more mainstream, too mid-20th century cartoonish, and not nearly as creative or as beautiful as her earlier work. Artists change, you just can't trust 'em. ;) 

Friday, August 12, 2016

Got a Bad Case of the Horribly Wrongs

Got a Bad Case of the Horribly Wrongs

Classic horror and punk rock meet the Cthulhu Mythos.

Someone, or something, wants Veronica's blood.

With the help of their friends the rare book collector occult wars mercenary and the masked luchador repoman bounty hunter bouncer, Veronica and her bandmates in the Horribly Wrongs horror rock band must take the ultimate road trip to Hell from their home in the Phoenix wasteland and stop the Big Pharma madman who is creating *things* in a secret lab somewhere in the lost bayous of Louisiana.

Can they make it out of Texas alive? What horrors await them? Are they ever going to release a new album?

The intro to Got a Bad Case of the Horribly Wrongs is a standard classic horror tale of monster movies and rock 'n' roll then hits you with a blistering chorus of biopunk body horror before crescendoing in an insanity-inducing ending of Lovecraftian nightmares. Features guest vocals by one of your favorite mad gods.

This is the first novel in the Oblivion Hearts setting, a world based on the author's real encounters with Yog-Sothoth as detailed in the unholy book Astronomicon minorem and is what inspired him to create the First United Church of Cthulhu – the only real and legally recognized nonprofit religious organization whose faith is based on the Cthulhu Mythos and the visions of our mad prophet H. P. Lovecraft. Find the church at FUCC.IT

Kill Those Damn Cats - Cats of Ulthar Lovecraftian Anthology

Kill Those Damn Cats - Cats of Ulthar Lovecraftian Anthology
Available in Paperback or Kindle eBook

“Kill those damn cats!” Nyarlathotep commanded.

The machinations of cats and mad gods are beyond human understanding.

Kill Those Damn Cats is a Lovecraftian anthology about the Cats of Ulthar, new stories of those furious felines' heroic adventures as well as their nefarious misdeeds.

Everybody's got a story about those cats.

Includes tales from young up-and-coming authors as well as Cthulhu Mythos veterans.

“Wilful Creatures” by DJ Tyrer
“Nix's Night About Town” by Nicholas Diak
“The Daughters of Bastet” by James Pratt
“Dot” by Mark P. Steele
“A Story for the Zoogs” by William J. Wallace
“Rise, Cats, Rise” by S. L. Kerns
“The Dark Thicket” by Jason Scott Aiken
“The Uninvited Guest” by Rohit Sawant
“In These Dark Woods” by J. M. Heluk
“The Law of Unintended Consequences” by Kevin Wetmore
“Thimble Hearts and Tamarind Eyes” by Kris Dikeman
“Jangling the Silver Keys” by Khurt Khave

Available in Paperback or Kindle eBook.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Urban Temples of Cthulhu - Modern Mythos Anthology

 published by the
First United Church of Cthulhu
Lovecraft for the 21st century.  We are the future of the Mythos.

 In the dark recesses of the world's cities lie the hidden altars and secret cathedrals dedicated to the blasphemous beings from out of space and time. And they want in!

Features the work of prominent horror authors,
many already with published Cthulhu Mythos material.

“Little Gods” by James Pratt
“Sects and the Single Girl” by Steven A. Roman
“The Kings in Rebel Yellow” by Khurt Khave
“The Face of God Within” by Brian H. Seitzman
“The Black Metal of Derek Zann” by Aaron Besson
“Cosmic Cavity; or, the Mouth of Man” by Carl R. Jennings
“Along the Shore of Old Ridge” by Stuart Conover
“Sleep Talking” by Jeff C. Stevenson
“Matriarch of Skid Row” by M. C. Bluhm
“Uncle Lovecraft: The Complete Oral History” by David Acord
“Strange Communion” by Allen Griffin
“Death in the Sunset” by Guy Riessen
“The Abomination of St. Jude” by David F. Gray
“Flesh-Bound Shadow Sun” by M. S. Swift
“Doorstepping” by Kelda Crich
“Saturday Night at the Esoteric Order of Dagon” by Jill Hand
“City of our Lady, Queen of the Angels,
Virgin Mother of a Thousand Young” by Kevin Wetmore
“Warm Red Sea” by Jaap Boekestein

I also edited the anthology.  The Kings in Rebel Yellow is one of my favorite stories that I have written.  I will definitely be continuing on with those characters.  I can't wait to find out what kind of chaos and madness they get involved in.

 You can find the First United Church of Cthulhu at FUCC.IT

Available in paperback or eBook:

Thursday, March 10, 2016

The Book of Shub-Niggurath - Owner's Manual

The Book of Shub-Niggurath - Owner's Manual

Shub-Niggurath - The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young: Lovecraft Call of Cthulhu LARP RPG roleplaying game accessory is meant be utilized as a roleplaying prop for the Call of Cthulhu RPG or any other horror or fantasy game that needs a Lovecraftian twist. With 566 pages in the book, that's plenty for you to tear out or write on, using them for props or clues.

I received the question of exactly how one would incorporate the Book of Shub-Niggurath in their game.  This is the result of that question and its subsequent answers.

I’ll cover the gaming aspects first, then the real world magickal theories second.

I started gaming in the 80’s.  We loved handouts, props, any extras that enhanced the playing and storytelling experience.  Unfortunately, back then most of the extras included were tiny black and white maps or “found pages from an ancient tome” which were sometimes only a quarter page size cutout.  So we would use old encyclopedias or even phone books (to invoke the Plumber of Doom dial 555-FLUSHIT) in the stead of sizeable spell books.

This is a physical prop intended to be used and abused.

Especially if you’re a Keeper who likes to use atmospheric extras, turn down the lights, flicker bulbs, sound fx tracks, eerie music, etcetera; this book is for you.  Your players will remember the first time you announce that they have discovered the Book of Shub-Niggurath and hold it a few feet above the table, then let it drop with a heavy thud that shakes the table and sends papers, pencils, and dice flying.  “Hold your drinks.”  This thing weighs three and a half pounds.  Be careful where you toss it.  Unless you’re like my old gaming crew was, then you’ll probably forcibly throw it at one or all of them during the course of the campaign.  I guess from a legal standpoint, yes, those multiple incidents would technically constitute assault.

Got a designated spellcaster?  Make them get up and walk around the table while reciting the appropriate passages.  “In proper Sumerian, please.”  We used to have to write out and recite every fhtagn word.  “Oh, no.  I’m not casting nothing this game.  You’re the mage now.” *proceeds to throw book at the new acolyte*  If you’re LARPing, your mage will simply love lugging this heavy thing around for hours on end!

Use passages from the Lovecraft stories as clues for the investigators.  Some sending them in the right direction, some sending them the other way.  But all paths are fraught with danger.

Make the investigators find the clues in the book’s passages themselves from other external cues.  They might hate you for making them work so hard, but there will also be a solid feeling of satisfaction of unraveling a mystery using physical props as opposed to just making an occult skill roll.  I left the pages unnumbered for this reason, but how many authentic spellbooks are numbered anyway?  Especially if pages are always being added or removed.

The different ancient languages in the book can be used to send investigators on themed adventures (gods, cults, beings, and folk heroes from those mythologies) or even to their originating locations around the world.  The Akkadian underworld can become a real subterranean location or reachable other-dimensional plane.

There are multiple gods from the Cthulhu Mythos pantheon listed in the book besides Shub-Niggurath.  So these are easy lead-ins to include all those various other factions in your adventures.

Get a red marker and start writing clues across the pages with the ancient languages.  Questions, translations (and inaccurate translations – Klaatu.  Barada.  Necktie!), non-euclidean equations, occult symbols, cryptic messages, locations, etc.

Or perhaps that one crucial page with all the clues is missing!  Or partially torn with the other half of the banishing spell on it.  An infuriating cliché of fiction from the era was that the location of the villain’s hideout, or the dead recluse millionaire’s will, or the combination to the safe containing the needed special item were written on that missing page.

Make it the Book of dread.  Use it sparingly, then when the book comes out your investigators know there is trouble ahead.

Are some of those pages cursed?  Side quest interrupting gameplay to find a cure for the increasingly fishy skin condition of Professor Smart Guy who botched the spell reading.  Yeah, they’re gonna really hate you after this one.

Who else wants this book?  Any of the Thousand Young will obviously want to get Mom’s book back.  There could be multiple, competing factions of Shub cults fighting each other and your team to gain possession of the book.  Other cults will have a vested interest in getting their slimy tentacles on the magic contained within those pages.  Agents of other groups or persons of interest who think that much power must be destroyed; or at least taken out of your group’s incompetent hands.

Did you steal this book from the Miskatonic library?  You will have to contend with some very angry faculty as well as overzealous students and wannabe campus cultists.

Actual otherplanar beings will probably want to get hold of the Book of Shub-Niggurath.  Can they sense the magic in the book and track the party?  Always one step behind?  Will they use it for their own nefarious schemes or just devour its power as a light snack then go back to sleep for 1000 years?

Shub might have to take matters into her own hands (alien grabby parts?) and get the book back herself.

Learn a new dead language.  I could fluently read and write Runic Norse by the time I was done studying it for gaming purposes.

As for as real world magic use, all of the ancient languages are considered to contain actual power that is unlockable and usable to the reader.  Many cultures held the belief that words themselves are a type of energy and that put together in the proper order constitute a functioning spell.  That’s what curse words originally were!

Then there is also the aspect of equidistant letter sequencing, hidden words and meanings, and subliminal magicks of mental control or spiritual domination.  Catcher in the Rye anyone?  What works for one won’t necessarily work for another.  That does not disempower the original seeker of knowledge.  Books can transport you to another world, create new reality paradigms, breathe life into those eldritch landscapes.  But this book is just a focus.  The real power lies within you. 


Thursday, February 4, 2016

Chainsaw Alice in Wonderland - audiobook

Chainsaw Alice in Wonderland is now available as an audiobook!

Available through:  Amazon  Audible  iTunes
Audio sample available in link.

Alice the chrononaut falls down an unmarked dimensional rift, or rabbit hole, which transports her to the wondrous lands as imagined by author Lewis Carroll.

But this is a very real place, as any parallel reality that can be thought of can be created. Wonderland is being torn apart by warring kingdoms, cruel monarchs, cosmic corporations, odd gods, and the forces of Cthulhu!

Characters from both Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There are joined by a cast of Disney-like talking animals as well as fantastical creatures such as mermaids, faeries, trolls, and minotaurs. And then the fighting and fornicating ensues!

The SICKEST steampunk horror book ever written! It's like Lewis Carroll, H. P. Lovecraft, Jules Verne, Walt Disney and the Marquis de Sade threw an orgy/murder party; and you're invited!

The best written trash you will ever hear. Exactly what it sounds like and much worse than you think! All the sex and violence that was missing from the original Alice in Wonderland is now here! You will be ashamed for loving it! It's tentacular!

Try the insanity, it's delicious!

Out of space.
Out of time.
Out of control.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Googly Eyes Cover Woman's Face - Spider Queen Halloween Costume Source Video

Googly Eyes Cover Woman's Face - Spider Queen Halloween Costume Source Video

Because there are billions of people on the internet and apparently none of you know how to do a Google search.  Here is the source video of the googly eyes Halloween costume.

The woman who came up with the idea for the Spider Queen and brought it to life is Lana Winnichyn (graphic designer: Lana's site). 

The professional photographer who took the video is Keri Coles.  The video is on her Youtube page with a link to her photography page.