The Astronomicon minorem - DMT, Cthulhu and You is the unholy book of the First United Church of Cthulhu.  The Book of Devouring Stars was written by Khurt Khave, the FUCC's head priest and founding member.

Discover the chaos and madness of the order from the deranged leader who claims to have garnered his knowledge from Yog-Sothoth himself!  Also includes the artists, prophets, and psychonauts who make up the history of the actual religion of Cthulhu which dates as far back as 700 BC.  Lovecraft was only one mad prophet in our great lineage.

Learn how you can directly contact Cthulhu and the Great Old Ones. 

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a physical copy

Nyarlathotep is waiting.

 

Know Your Tentacles!

I love tentacles! I love art! I love information! That's why it sucks when so many cool pictures, memes, and video clips get passed around with no tags at all as to their source. I kept seeing this picture or an animated gif of it reposted time and again but I kept forgetting the name of the film it was from. For some reason the animated gif is in black and white, and it is a period piece with era specific clothing and sets, so a lot of people think it is a much older film.

It is actually from 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy, a 2011 Hong Kong 3D erotic costume drama. It is a new installment of the Sex and Zen series which is loosely based on The Carnal Prayer Mat, a Chinese erotic novel by 17^th century author and playwright Li Yu.

It has been called “Crouching Tiger meets The Joy of Sex.”

Here is the trailer:

Here is the full film:

Cthulhu be praised!

The Headless Girl with the Tentacle Tattoo - she has a name

 

 

The Headless Girl with the Tentacle Tattoo – she has a name. And a head. And a full body. But you would never know it from all the social media reposts of the above picture. The same one has been recirculated through various blogs, websites, and group pages of numerous steampunk and Lovecraftian connoisseurs for years. She Who Cannot Be Named because none of these idiots could be bothered to take 2 seconds to do a Google search.
 

For those who don't understand the current obsession with everything tentacles, Jules Verne is considered one of the progenitors of what is known today as steampunk (alternate history, retrofuturism, blah blah go argue semantics somewhere else) and his famous work 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea featured a giant squid attack. And Lovecraft's most notorious cosmic terror god that lives outside of space and time is Cthulhu, who has a big tentacled cephalopodic head. Ursula from Disney's The Little Mermaid is often more identified with than Ariel the film's titular star.  And then the videos of the little suckers opening peanut butter jars and walking across the beach only add to the popularity.   And then there's Japanese hentai tentacle porn. Yeah, there's always tentacle porn. 

But I digress. Her name is FreyjaVeda. According to her tumblr she is the “owner of the Golden Axe Tattoo in London, Ontario. Amazonian Pin-Up model, snowboarder, metal head, traveler, Primal life. . .a cross between Uma Thurman, 50's Liz Taylor, and Weird Al.”

Excerpted from inkedmag.com:

 

But her signature tattoo is a kraken, whose beak circles her belly button and whose tentacles wrap up her chest and circle her breasts. “It's my gorgeous Mike Austin torso piece!” she says. “I wanted something huge and gnarly that flowed with my curves, and what better than tentacles? I'm super stoked on it. People actually recognize me by it now. It is a weird experience to have people run up to me at a convention with my boobs as their iPhone wallpaper and hold it up to me and shout, “It's her!”

And she comes out to Arizona for the Hell City tattoo fest, so as the head priest of the First United Church of Cthulhu located in said state, I think I should grant her some type of krakenous goddess status.  Or at least buy her a drink.  It's the least I can do for advancing the tentacle agenda.

 

The following video contains full nudity. You get to see everything, tattoos and all, up close and personal.

tsurufoto presents... But I Don't Want Anybody Else starring Freyja Veda from tsurufoto. on Vimeo.

P.S. She also has the crazy animated deer head from Evil Dead 2 tattooed on her. . .somewhere. Go find it!

Steampunk Dining in Phoenix, Arizona? - Taco Guild



Steampunk dining in Phoenix, Arizona? Not likely. Especially if you're dreaming of something as cool as the speakeasy styled Commonwealth in Las Vegas or the renovated power plant The Edison (Ugh! Terrible name! Don't they realize who that monster was?!?!) in Los Angeles. But we do have a few historical buildings which date back to before the turn of not the last century but the one before that. We're talking the 1800's here. And every once in awhile a mad chef gets his hands on one and resurrects the structure as a new eating establishment.

One such restaurant is the Taco Guild, located in the heart of Phoenix on the corner of 7^th Street and Osborn. It is a converted and deconsecrated church with the original stained glass mural windows still intact. Constructed in 1893, it began its architectural life as a one-room schoolhouse, the Osborn School, and then became Smith's Chapel, named for its builders Mister and Misses George and Edna Smith. A year later they changed the name to Bethel Methodist Church, honoring Misses Smith's home church in Illinois. It retained the name until 2012 when it was finally vacated and deconstructed.

 

As their name would suggest, the staple of their menu is tacos, but with some great new takes on a bland standard and made with local, organic farm fresh ingredients. They also serve various salads and a few other selections of Mexican cuisine including a brunch menu with breakfast burritos and veggie omelets. But arguably the most important feature of the restaurant is the full bar. From Patrón to PBR and what they call Tequila Academia, learning to speak the language of tequila.

But a new religious faction has overtaken the Guild! A secret cabal (okay, a group of local authors, but how much can you trust someone who lives in their head and spends all day fabricating their own realities) known as the Holy Taco Church can be found holding their dark rituals, usually with extra hot sauce. Local steampunk author Beth Cato (The Clockwork Dagger, The Clockwork Crown, etc) is their High Priestess of Churromancy. Maybe you can become her tacolyte and learn her sugary secrets.

And for all your steampunk thrifting needs, located right next door to the Taco Guild is the Buffalo Exchange where you can buy, sell, or trade clothing, footwear, jewelry and other accessories. I found a very odd pair of ladies boots, Neo-Victorian in the worst way possible. The tops are knee-length Victorian styled boots (maybe they're supposed to represent tube socks) while the base I thought was faux spats is running shoes?!?!  The impracticality is astounding.  Made by Nike, of course. So, I guess they would be Victorian running boots. Stupid Nike.  I cannot find another pair in Google image search, so I have no idea what sport of athletic activity these would be for.  Ah, the joys of thrifting. 

The two stores share a parking lot. But it is rather small and usually full during peak hours for the restaurant. But there is plenty of parking in the adjoining neighborhood. You'll just have to walk a bit in the 115 degree heat. Valley of the Sun indeed.

Mad Tea Party Day!!!

 

 

 

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, an 1865 novel written by Lewis Carroll, introduced multiple characters which have become cultural icons.  Perhaps the most beloved scene is that of the mad tea party.

 

The party takes place on May 4th, so that is when we celebrate it!

 

 

 

Excerpted from the book:

 

"I've seen hatters before," she said to herself; "the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March."

The Hatter was the first to break the silence. "What day of the month is it?" he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at in uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.

Alice considered a little, and then said, "The fourth."

And there you have it - May 4th, Mad Tea Party Day!

"Clean cup!  Move down!"

Steampunk Dragons Game - Flight Rising

Flight Rising is not a steampunk-specific game but the customizable aspect of being able to dress your dragon up in steampunk attire is a wonderful part, similar to various other virtual paper doll apps that are available online. It is a great piece of make-your-own steampunk art for those of us who love dragons and steampunk, and the combination of the two subgenres (normally called Gaslamp Fantasy), but don't have any real artistic ability to be able to create such characters on our own.

Flight Rising is a browser-based game where players lead an elemental clan of dragons and work with other clans to gain supremacy in the realm. It features dragon breeding, battles, adventures, item collection, and mini-games.

Breed dragons for thousands of breed, gene, and color combinations. Collect hundreds of items, including dragon apparel, skins, and familiars. Fight your dragons against monsters or other dragon clans by battling in the arena. Play a selection of mini-games to earn high scores and loads of treasure for your clan. Also participate in site-wide battles against the other elemental dragon flights for dominance of the realm.

Gameplay is similar to Neo Pets and the steampunk imagery is reminiscent of the dragon player characters from the Rifts and Palladium games. It's not a game that I would choose to play on a regular basis (get off the internet and go read a book, kid!) as I find all of these types of breeding/sim games to be dreadfully boring. But the artwork is beautiful. You can use it to make yourself a neato steampunk dragon to save as a background pic, screen saver, or avatar pic.

 

 



Something with Blood in the Title

 

Blood!  Blood!  Blood!

 

They crave it.  They desire it.  They scream for it.

 

 

Something with Blood in the Title is a collection of horror stories, murder poems, and creepypasta written by Khurt Khave (redundantly listed here, on his own site, so that the google bots can find and devour his electronic soul).  There are devils and angels, ghosts and faeries, sex, drugs, violence, and a little rock and roll.  It's all about burning churches and killing cops.  A twist of Victorian Poe, some biopunk body horror, and of course a touch of Lovecraft thrown in; after all, I am the head priest of the First United Church of Cthulhu.  Dozens of pictures and illustrations add to the madness and chaos!

 

What good this life without some tentacle action?

 

And, oh yeah, zombies, (super)naturally.  Can't forget the Girlfriend of the Living Dead.  Goodness knows she won't forget you.  Until she's finished.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How well do you really know your friends?  Who they really are.  The terrible things they may have done in the past.  Can you trust them?

 

Something with Blood in the Title features "My Friend the Serial Killer" a 25 page expose' on real life murderer Bryan Patrick Miller, aka the Arizona Zombie Hunter, including information the cops don't know and never before seen pictures.

 

 

The book also features "In Defense of Horror Films" a lost article by horror legend VINCENT PRICE which is just as poignant today as when it was originally written.

GET YOUR COPY OF

Something with Blood in the Title

 

 

 

You want blood?  You got it.