Wednesday, May 24, 2017

My Friend Killed Herself - Suicide + Mental Illness

friend killed herself Monday night.  We had just seen her over
the weekend at a convention.  There were no warning signs.
She was always a positive person.  She had starred in a bunch of
local films.  She had a great job that she loved working as a
studio director and DJ at a local radio station (she loved music).
Life seemed to be going well for her.  She bought stuff at the
con, got a pic with a celeb, was making plans for later in the week.
Had messaged a couple other people to get together.  None of
these are the usual activities of someone in a suicidal state.

went hiking with her besties Monday morning.  Then Monday night
there was a post on Facebook that simply said, "I am done"
and she killed herself.

didn't know her well enough to know if there were hidden demons.
I've had family members with bi-polar disorder, and from the outside
it looks an awful lot like that, because that tends to be a genetic,
biological illness, a literal chemical imbalance.  You can have
the greatest life, friends, family, job you love, no stress, no money
worries, and still suffer from manic depression.

seems like she was on a great streak, but when the illness struck on
Monday night it hit her hard, too hard for her to fight back, and
dropped her into that dark pit of despair and hopelessness.

you suffer from bouts of depression, especially sharp declines and
ones that include suicidal thoughts, I urge you to seek help.  Even
just talking about it, how you feel, what you fear, can go great
lengths to easing your mind. 

from my little black heart.


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