What REALLY happened to Doctor Steel?
Doctor Steel's retirement has always
been shrouded with questions and concerns. Was it really some legal
debacle that broke him? Was it all the Doctor Horrible hullabaloo?
Did Universal Pictures and the Will Ferrell Land of the Lost
film come after him for the illegal use of sampling in Doctor Steel's
“Land of the Lost” song? Was the pressure of being a mad
scientist, world conqueror, and rising music star too much for him?
Was it the Alien Illuminati? As it turns out, it was none of these. And the reality goes far beyond his cryptic retirement letter.
After announcing his retirement in
2011, he wrote an explanation letter to Commander Jet of the Toy
Soldiers (his group of loyal followers – calling it a fan club
just doesn't do justice to the wonderful community that was created
around the persona of Doctor Steel). She chose to publish the letter
so that all the toy soldiers could read it. Here is a transcript of
the letter:
Dear Jet,
2012 is here. The end of the world?
We just don't know yet. Flashes in the sky. Holograms? The answers
aren't showing themselves. In any case the end of my world has
manifested. I have been gone and I shall continue to be gone. Rest
assured that it was no easy decision. But under the circumstances it
was the only decision. Blacklisted, betrayed. Strong words? Too
dramatic? “Life is a stage” and I the act which has been
canceled. With nothing but the kindred spirits of the Toy Soldiers.
The shared vision of creativity and fun. You were the only delight
in recent times. Still, my experiences have woven a tapestry of
complications which have forced me to disappear. I cannot offer a
complete explanation for a variety of reasons but I felt obligated to
send you a note in an attempt to convey my appreciation. You have
had faith. You have made a difference. You have seen the
importance. While my experience has left me drained of my finances
and my privacy. Robbed of my creativity, passion, and so many years
of my life. I only hope that a spark remains in you all. An idea is
immortal.
The business at hand. The wasted
energy for the invented rules of the system demands one final task of
me. Having recently endured the experience, the ritual of closing
down my company, I have removed all aspects of the associated
business. Websites, products, and otherwise. My “advisers”
indicated that even Toy Soldiers Unite be destroyed. I cannot allow
this to happen. I am now powerless but I am, fortunately, not in
possession of Toy Soldiers Unite!
I am certain that many of you have a
variety of opinions regarding my slip into silence. I can ask
nothing from you but mutual respect. I wish great happiness for the
Toy Soldiers. I always have. There was so much I wanted to give
you. So many ideas which were unable to manifest into reality. It
has destroyed a very cherished part of me. This chapter is over.
This chapter is closed. The universe has swallowed up those
opportunities and I am no longer compatible on this frequency. I
search now only for peace and quiet.
If things had been different, I would
have given you the gift of your very own robot. It could have been a
reality. I do believe that. I am not mad. Only perhaps a creative
who has been immersed in the bureaucracy of his own demise for too
long. I must rest now. I thank you for your understanding.
May all of your ideas find wings.
No longer,
Doctor Steel
The following is a copy of Doctor Steel's original retirement letter and screen caps of Kato's initial post on the Toy Soldiers Unite group page as well as her answer to my question.
Some of you are probably familiar with
Kato, the popular steampunk fashion designer and cosplayer, often
referred to as “the supermodel of steampunk.” She was the
originator of the Toy Soldiers and had been in a relationship with
Doctor Steel. The relationship did not go well.
Back in October 2016, Kato, real name
Kate Lambert, discovered the Toy Soldiers Unite group on Facebook.
Here is her initial post in the group:
Look at that, 10 years. I was just a
22 year old kid, obsessed with this musician who was aiming to do so
much more than just music. I agreed with his message and felt
empowered to do something out of pure passion, “just for fun.” I
had never been part of a “fan club” let alone created one before
but from a few scribbles in my note book, to launching a bad ass
website a few months later, it turned into a refined monster of
36,000 registered members and took up every second of my day;
enlisting, posting, monitoring, mailing out Soldier packs, filming
webisodes, answering questions, banning douchebags, putting out fire
after fire, laughing, crying, and feeling loved and appreciated.
I haven't posted in this group before
because I wasn't really on Facebook around the time he was throwing
the towel in and we were having some of the biggest blowouts over his
decision that our relationship had ever seen. A huge part of my
soul, along with hundreds of other Toy Soldiers', was crushed that
day and I never got it back. The deep, cold sadness that I felt
every time I saw some TSU symbolism or was asked for the millionth
time “aren't you married to Dr. Steel?” was painful and
deflating mixed with utter loneliness from him forbidding me to ever
talk about it or process any of the emotions of having dedicated 6
years of my life and thousands of dollars to someone else's dream for
not even a “thank you.”
. . .then today, I stumbled across this
group. I scrolled and scrolled and looked at the amount of support
and dedication that still remains after all this time and for the
first time in ten years, I got a little piece of my soul back as I
realized that it wasn't all for nothing and, even if there were just
5 people left who had come together because of this and are making
each other laugh and meeting up for drinks, then that stands for at
least something.
I am beyond proud of those who've kept
heart and positive energy against the odds and without a focal
figure. I'm especially proud of Dutch and JET. You guys are owed,
all of you. I tried to even bribe him back at the beginning of last
year but I was up against complete disinterest and selfishness. His
intentions weren't good or true and his real feelings toward those
who loved and supported him were pretty insulting. If I can give
something more to you guys, I will. You're good people.
I am sorry if anyone feels like I
abandoned them. He forbid me from dedicating any more of my time to
the army that I fucking created, as well as forbidding me from having
a social circle and ultimately a life. All that mattered to him was
that I continued to work my ass off for him on projects that didn't
require him having to lift a finger while he sat back and abused my
bank account and our relationship. The illusion was great, but in
reality, I wouldn't wish to have a person like that back at the helm.
I am open to answering questions that
some of you may have, especially those of you who unfortunately fell
fool to rumors that trolls have fabricated about me. It's easy to
believe shit we read on the internet about people we've never met, so
I forgive those of you who did and want you to know that I don't
judge you for it.
A very interesting look at the man behind the curtain, but that didn't answer the question, “What REALLY happened to Doctor Steel?” And she specifically wrote that she was “open to answering questions.”
A very interesting look at the man behind the curtain, but that didn't answer the question, “What REALLY happened to Doctor Steel?” And she specifically wrote that she was “open to answering questions.”
Of course, some of the more namby-pamby
group members were all, “No. Let her be.”
Fuck that. She offered, so I asked,
“What's the real reason he bailed out? The speculation is insane.”
Her answer:
There are a ton of petty reasons but
the baseline is this: He didn't enjoy performing live, ever, and he
wasn't making a financial return from what he'd put into it at that
point. EVERYONE fucking knows that the music industry takes some
serious SERIOUS bloody legwork to get there and start profiting but
he's an over-entitled brat with zero patience and didn't want to put
in any more time or effort despite being right on the cusp and having
a lady financially taking care of him.
So there you have it, from the person
who was closest to him.
One monkey-avatared toy soldier summed
it up best, “We moved from following an idol to following an ideal.
Something that allowed us to focus more on each other and help each
other improve on so much more. And I may have joined after the
split, but I think enough would agree with me that the split might
have been the best thing for the TSU even if it meant losing a lot of
members.”
The following is a copy of Doctor Steel's original retirement letter and screen caps of Kato's initial post on the Toy Soldiers Unite group page as well as her answer to my question.
