Sunday, January 20, 2019

Judges 5 - The True Spirit of Christianity

I have seen this medieval illustration used for a lot of different memes and it has popped up again recently.  Let me tell you the real story of this picture.  It is from the Bible, and it is the passage I often give as example to show the actual nature of Christianity; one that is eerily present in modern Christian belief.  This is the true spirit of "love, tolerance, and forgiveness" that so many Christians espouse.

I normally don't bag on the Christians too much because their religion is doing such a fine job of destroying itself.  But I feel this illustration needs its proper context given.

It is a depiction of Judges 5.  I will cite verses from the King James Version.

As you may or may not know, the Israelites (first Christians) were, and still mostly are, a very violent and warlike people; despite the peaceful teachings of their lord and savior Jesus.  This passage is about Deborah who became a leader of their people as they were fighting foreigners and everybody around them, or in their terms, being oppressed.  Though it says at the very beginning that it was the Lord, their god, doing this to them because they were shitty human beings.

Judges 5

1 - And the children of Israel again did evil in the sight of the Lord, when Ehud was dead.
2 - And the Lord sold them into the hand of Jabin, king of Canaan, that reigned in Hazor; the captain of whose host was Sisera, which dwelt in Harosheth of the Gentiles.

6 - In the days of Shamgar the son of Anath, in the days of Jael, the highways were unoccupied, and the travelers walked through byways.
7 - The inhabitants of the villages ceased, they ceased in Israel, until that I Deborah arose, that I arose a mother of Israel.
8 - They chose new gods; then was war in the gates: was there a shield or spear among forty thousand in Israel?
9 - My heart is towards the governors of Israel, that offered themselves willingly among the people.  Bless ye the Lord.

Eventually, after 20 years, the Israelites defeat their Canaanite "oppressors."  Sisera flees.  He seeks refuge at the tent of Jael.

24 - Blessed above women shall Jael the wife of Heber the Kenite be, blessed shall she be above women in the tent.
25 - He asked for water, and she gave him milk; she brought forth butter in a lordly dish.
26 - She put her hand to the nail, and her right hand to the workmen's hammer; and with the hammer she smote Sisera, she smote off his head, when she had pierced and stricken through his temples.

She gives him milk and butter then hammers a tent spike **through** his temples, then smashed him so many times with the hammer that she knocked his head off.

Loving Christians indeed.

31 - So let all thine enemies perish, O Lord: but let them that love him be as the sun when he goeth forth in his might.  And the land had rest forty years.

How come they never taught this one in Sunday school?

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Chainsaw Alice returns!

Chainsaw Alice returns!  After her trials and tribulations in Wonderland, Alice has a whole new world to explore and escape from.  This dark domain is being invaded by Mythos creatures determined to harness the immense cosmic powers that dwell therein.

The original Chainsaw Alice in Wonderland was a young woman's journey of self discovery (of chainsaw decapitation and tentacle sex).  Now she will have to confront and cope with those revelations while fighting her way across a dreary landscape to stop the enslavement and destruction of this place.

And the Cheshire Cat can't help her.

Coming as soon as I finish writing it.  All the villains, monsters, and wondrous characters have had their pictures taken and are ready to fight!  The plot is structured, the end was written first, now I just need to get her there.

Cthulhu Doodle + Chainsaw Alice + Priestess of Cthulhu

Commissioned a couple of doodles for 3 euros each. Artist is Astanael and is working on an Elder Gods Tarot featuring the Cthulhu Mythos creatures. Got a version of our tentacle priestess and one of Chainsaw Alice in Wonderland. You can check out the DA page here:

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Cyberspawn of Cthulhu, Lawnmower Man, Nyarlathotech, and other Dead Things

"I must find a way out."

The Lawnmower Man is dead on the line
The Blood Twins are missing, with Flu from behind
Shadowslaves, microwaves
Living in a time when love is a crime

Closing in on you
I'll pass you in the end
Time was always the enemy
But I thought you were my friend

No loyalties, no royalties
If I'm defied you're dead to me

Bruised and broken
A worthless token
Introvert, it's gonna hurt
For what was unspoken

You either don't or you know
Feed the Nightflowe
Deskinned, taken in
You should have been Roe'd

Risk is a life and you'll never take it
I'm back is a truth and you'll never break it
Just do what you always do
Smile along and fake it

Trapped in my hostility field
Shooting at you with temper flares
No one's free, except for me
I hate you and no one cares

You'd better watch your Suistryde
Better men have died

"This universe is mine.  I am GOD here."

Goodbye 2018.  You can fuck off.

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Chaosium AFRAID of our Cthulhu Mythos RPG

Chaosium is AFRAID of our Cthulhu Mythos RPG -- Don't Let Them Take You Alive.  They had it kicked off of!  They must be intimidated by the competition of our little, FREE game.  But that is probably a bigger indicator that their own sales are lagging.

You can download the full color FREE PDF here

Or if you'd like a physical copy, you can get one here

Here's the details of this silly situation.  I am an author who works in the horror and Cthulhu Mythos genres.  I have 22 titles to my name as of this writing.  Characters are the most important aspect of any story, and I tend to overwrite everything.  So after writing all those books, I found myself with a ton of leftover characters, cults, evil corporations, alien gods and mysterious monsters.  So I slapped some stats and dice rolls onto them and put them in their own game book, as a source for other roleplayers to use in their own modern horror or Cthulhu Mythos based games.  

I have always given it away for free.  DriveThruRPG has a "Pay What You Want" option and I always promoted it by telling people to just enter zero dollars and get the free pdf.  Their site was just an easier way for random gamers to stumble upon it.

Then I got a notice from DriveThruRPG that they had pulled it for violating Chaosium's copyright, claiming, "it uses the Call of Cthulhu rules and stats without permission."

I cited United States Federal Government Copyright Law FL-108, "Copyright does not protect the idea of a game, its name or title, or the method or methods for playing it.  Nor does copyright protect any idea, system, method, device, or trademark material involved in developing, merchandising, or playing the game.  Once a game has been made public, nothing in copyright law prevents others from developing another game based on similar principles."

Basically, you can't copyright game rules, stats, attributes, etc.  DriveThruRPG didn't care.  They said they are aware of the law and that there are court cases pending on this issue.  Sure, right, what bullshit.  

They said I would have to change the game.  I asked how can I change something if you won't tell me what the violation claim is specifically for?  "Strength attributes, detective skills, hit points, etc, these are still game mechanics.  Mechanics that are used in thousands of games, both tabletop and computer-based."  Again, they didn't care.

So I'm just making it available and will keep making it available, still FREE, through an online storage site.  Download it now in case they try to have it removed again!  Cthulhu fhtagn!

Deadman's Tome Podcast - Church of Cthulhu interview

DARK GODDESS position available - Phoenix AZ. Church of Cthulhu interview on Deadman's Tome Podcast. Church philosophy, DMT, theoretical physics, goat orgies, tentacle parties.

Jump to beginning of main interview - 48:55
Jump to DARK GODDESS WANTED - 1:38:10

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Chainsaw Alice in Ooverdare

Alice woke me up at 4am out of a dead sleep, saying that she wanted to tell me what had just happened. For a chrononaut she had terrible timing.

Chainsaw Alice in Ooverdare

There was a sad little man who lived a sad little life.

He wasted his time hating. Hating everyone, hating everything. Hating kings, and hating queens, and hating cats, and hating cards, and hating secret breakfasts, and hating quiet sunsets, and hating games, and hating fun, and hating love, and hating hate.

After many adventures across many worlds, Alice had retreated to the wondrous rolling hills of Ooverdare. Not retired, mind you. For a chrononaut, the expression, "a time and place for everything" was very, very literal. Right now, at this time, at this place, was her everything. No past, no future, only right now. Retreat, repast, recover. Unwind, don't rewind. She could change her past if she wanted to, but you cannot. Besides, why would she want to? If she did, then she would not be the she that she is today. Good, bad, or sideways, she liked herself just the way she was.

Now, the sad little man had taken to calling himself Fateweaver. And everyone told him it was a very good name. A powerful name. A meaningful name. A presentient name. But it wasn't, not for him at least.

Fateweaver hated time, thus he hated Alice. He believed, incorrectly, that since she was a chrononaut, that she had all the time in the world. He wanted to take all her time since he had wasted all his time. Then he would have all the time for all the hate that he loved to share with everyone.

But how to steal time from a chrononaut? "Eureka! I will gather an army of time trolls from the depths of all the darkest worlds, and they will have the power to take all her time!" he declared to himself. And so he did. Big time, small time, even trolls who really had no time at all; they all made time, to hate with Fateweaver. They marched under his false flag that flew low and flapped frantically as they crossed the spidery-legged terrain, up and down, over and around, a million creepycrawlies, predators of the dateshifter.

They hurled rocks, and axes, and barbed comments at her cozy cottage. "Why must they always attack at tea time?" Alice wondered. She slipped on her boots and walked outside.

With a wave of her hand, time stood still. But with this many trolls, it would not last long. Time was a slippery thing, and it marches on, whether or not she or anyone else wants it to.

"The price of peace is peace." Alice went to find out who was in charge of this blunderous undertaking.

She found Fateweaver. The little man in the big hat. His pride was not hidden but displayed. She unfroze him. "Tag. You're it. Now what is your game?"

"I hate games," he replied. "And I hate time, and you are having the time of your life, so I hate you. I will take all your time."

"Did you honestly believe that time trolls could harm me? I knew they were coming before they did. I used their own time against them. And it takes me no time at all. You see, I simply ignore them, and they are not there. I have no time for them and they burn up all their time." The trolls all vanished. Gone without a trace.

"What?!" exclaimed Fateweaver in confusion. "Where have all the time trolls gone?"

"You cannot waste my time, but you are testing my patience." She spun him around and he fell to the ground.

"I have come undone." He sat bedraggled, moping.

"My time is my own. No one can take it from me. But I share it with who I choose. Good day to you."

"I need to get some more-comfortable shoes," she thought to herself. What was that phrase again? "With enemies like these, who needs cupcakes?" This girl, that's who.